Matthew thinking of you precious Angel & you Darcy  / Delia Allan Tomlin Mum
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My sweet Matthew  / Mom

My sweet Matthew,
I can't believe that it is almost a year since I last saw you, hugged you, heard you say "mom".  All those special things we take for granted when the ones we love are with us.  I want you to know that your family is doing ok son. We have our good days where we remember you with laughter, so much laughter, and then we have those days where just the sight of your sweet face in the pictures in our house causes our hearts to ache. But that's all part of it I guess. Your buddies still drop by when they are in town, and it's always so great to see them. They still miss you so much son, you touched their lives deeply, as you did many others, and they still say there will never be anyone that can take your place in their hearts.
   This has been a rough week for us. The 1 year anniversary of your homecoming is  3 days away now. I plan on bringing french toast up to be with you that morning and have breakfast there with you. It may sound silly to some, but that's ok. You were and are my son, and I will do whatever will help the ache in my heart, and if that means having breakfast with you, then so be it.
   Do you hear me when I talk to you during the day? Sometimes I smell you so strongly right by my side, and it comforts me. I can almost feel you standing by my side, and it makes me long to hold you and tell you how much your mama misses you and loves you. I have some of your clothes in my closet that were in your room that had not been washed yet. I have that dry cleaning plastic over them so as not to lose your scent. When I get overwhelmed, I go and just drink in your scent, sometimes I cry, other times it gives me strength to finish out my day and do the things that need to be done.
   Just know that you are spoken of every day in your home son. You will never be forgotten, and you will forever be loved. I love you Matthew Joseph, and please, if and when you can, come see me in my dreams son. Wow! I'm smelling you right now as I type this. Thank you son for being with me, and letting me know that you are with me, and have not really left me. Remember the part on "Home Alone" where we always said it was us? The part where Kevin and his mom were both looking at the moon, and though they were so many miles apart, they were saying good night to eachother at that exact same time? That was us to the "T" wasn't it. I remember you saying you were a mamas boy and proud of it :) and that would fill my heart with such joy. I call up those memories when I need them to get through another day without you with me.
   Jesus is helping me son, and also your dad, and sisters. On a drive home one day with your dad, I was sitting there with my eyes closed and all of a sudden I was back at the day that you were taken home. All of us were in the living room, crying, and I saw you standing there next to Jesus. You looked up at Him and asked,"Will they be ok?" and Jesus hugged you closer to His side and and answered, "Yes, my son, they will be,, they will come to me." I thank God for that revelation because I felt you that day, and was wondering if I was going crazy. Now I know I was not, because you WERE there with us, and you were reassured your family would be ok. Even in "death" you were concerned for your family. What a precious wonderful loving son and brother you are to us,, and always will be. I love and miss you my Matthew,

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for you  / Nancy Davis
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Never said goodbye.....  / Diane Angel Mom- Katie Cassidy

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Matthew Happy St patricks day  / Delia Allan Tomlin Mum
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Matthew Happy St Patricks Day Precious Angel  / Delia Allan Tomlin Mum
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Thinking of Angel Matthew and his family for St. Patrick's day ^i^xx  / Valerie Haslett (((I Care)) )

 

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Matt I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH..  / Robin Bricher (another mom =*) )
YOUNG ANGELS
When God calls young Angels to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love,
For no heartache compares with the death of a child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold.
So he picks a rose bud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but a few,
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows, will always be "goodbye".
So when a  child departs, we who are left behind
must realize God loves children & angels are hard to find.

Author Unknown
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MATTHEW / Debbie Wengert (Kevins Mom )
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A letter from your sister  / Amber Roach (Big Sister )
Dear "Little Big" Brother,

Where do I even start??

I have so many thoughts flashing through my head each and every day -- memories that never fail to make my heart smile or sigh... sometimes both at the same time. 

I wonder if you remember when you were little and you'd have a bad dream; how you would come into my room, wake me up, and ask to sleep in my room.  I never said "no" and that is just one of the countless things I am thankful for now. 

Then teenagehood approached and with it came all the hostility and angst that comes with being moody teenagers.  We didn't really get along through those awkward teenage years, but I hope you know that as much as we got on each other's last nerve and fought with one another... if anybody else ever tried to mess with you, there was hell to pay from Big Sis.  I always "had your back" as you would say and I know you had mine.  I remember this so clearly.  I was 18 years old and going through my first major heartbreak.  I had come over to the house, bawling, needing to talk to mom because the guy in question had just done another something or other.  Mom was out and you were in the middle of one of your movies, but you put it on stop and turned around to look at me almost as soon as I walked in the door.  I was crying silently, but you somehow knew something was amiss without even looking at me.  You asked me if it was "him" again and as I nodded my head yes, this protective, completely pissed look came over your face and you said, "I don't care if he is a cop, I'm going to walk up to his house and beat his ass right now for making you cry!" And with that, I started laughing and couldn't stop -- even when I had to talk you out of doing exactly what you said.  I think it was then that I started to realize that because we're siblings, no matter what, it's a united front to the world.  It's a concept that neither one of us truly understood was there until those last few months. 

I am so thankful for those last three months, my little brother.  We had both finally grown up enough to put sibling rivalry and petty differences behind us, forgive one another for the crap we used to pull with each other, and move into the adult friendship phase of Siblinghood.  Those midnight backgammon tournaments and the calls to my cell phone asking if I was coming home for the weekend just because you missed me... and the after-thought remark of "and don't tell mom about this phone call either, I have a reputation to keep" followed by the half-laugh you gave to yourself as you said bye and hung up the phone... those will forever be memories that I cherish in my heart. 

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you.  It's funny how there are times where I can sense your presence so strongly and I almost have to pinch myself to remind myself that you're not here in this world with us.  You have started your eternity with Jesus and left us all behind - you always did have to be first with everything, haha. 

But I hope that you know, just how much I learned from you and the gifts that you imparted to me simply by watching you live your life.  I have never known anyone with as much courage and genuine love for people as you had.  It didn't matter who someone was, where they had been, where they were at then... you welcomed them with open arms and went out of your way to make them smile and laugh.  You faced each and every day with a smile - never holding onto any of the junk from the previous day.  To you, every new sunrise was truly a fresh start, a chance to accomplish what you couldn't the day before.  Your ability to forgive was unceasing and an inspiratioin to us all, Matt. 

I have a lot of regrets - but mostly that I didn't tell you more often how much I admired you and how proud I was of you.  I told you a couple of times that I remember, but you'd always get kind of uncomfortable when people got too mushy with you.  But regardless of that, I should have told you more often.  I should have spoiled you more and held back the snappy responses I'd give at times more.  I should have made the time to be a bigger part of your life. 

Should have, could have, would have... they are all empty and only make the ache worse.  Instead of holding onto those unfulfilled wishes, I am having to learn to hold onto all the good things... all the wishes that were fulfilled.  All the positive words that were spoken.  All the memories that make me laugh or smile or just quietly warm my heart up; because in the midst of the storm that is our grief... those good things are anchors -- the "should haves, could haves, and would haves" are shaky and will let the storm toss you around, leaving you battered and bruised and hurting.  

Matt, I want you to know that your family is doing okay.  Even though we all hurt and there are days where we have to force ourselves to limp along this journey of life... we are finding our way.  You and I both know it's because of God alone, but we are all leaning on him and trusting in him... accepting the "peace that surpasseth all understanding."  

Our baby sister just joined the praise and worship team at church and she is loving it.  I know you are just as proud of her as I am for doing something with the God-given, musical talents that He blessed her with.  She is giddy with excitement over her impending graduation, at the same time, I know she is also dreading having to go through another "milestone" without your physical presence.  I am praying that God shows her that you truly have the best seat in the house.  It is my constant prayer for our family that we understand we carry a part of you wherever we go, tucked safely in our hearts.  

Mom is inching her way to graduation too, Matt! I know you know how hard she has worked, and continues to work every day to obtain her goal.  She has already said she'll be carrying your picture with her when she walks across the stage and I know you'll be cheering for her when her name is called, right along with Grandma Deanna, Aunt Jenny, Cousin JD, and all of our other loved ones who have gone on to paradise before us.  

Dad is... dad.  I know you would be so proud of him as he draws closer to God and continues to be a strength and spiritual leader to our family.  Try not to laugh at him too much when you see him swimming through the pool of estrogen that surges every now and then, okay? I know you're as happy as we are about the fact that he isn't working as many weekends and that he has started to slow down and enjoy life, instead of working himself to the ground constantly. 

And as for me... well, I am happy to tell you that I've finally made God my focus and am pursuing His calling on my life.  He has called me into the ministry and I'm in the process of preparing for all that entails.  I hope to be attending bible college this fall and eventually, I will "go to the nations" as it was prophesized over me so long ago.  But for some reason, I think you already know that and that you are pleased about it. 
I cannot believe that the one year marker of our "intermission" from each other is almost here.  But our pastor made a good point last night during his visit -- our entire lifetime is still only a splash in the bucket compared to the eternity that we will all eventually share with one another.  So until our time comes to join you in Heaven, just know that no matter where life takes all of us... we all know that you are with us in spirit and that you're never a sentence away from our thoughts.

I love you with all my heart little brother and I miss you so very much.  I refuse to say goodbye though.. it's' only "see you later" and I thank you for the 18 years and 10 months that you gave us. 

Love Always, Your Big Sis,
Amber Roach Close

Proverbs 29:17  / Mom
This is a scripture that Matt had his way of saying:

Proverbs 29:17
 "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yes, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

Matt's way of saying it:

"Beat your son and it will make you happy."

We used to laugh at that whenever it was read. Matt used to make us laugh everyday.


                            

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missing you  / Mom Mama

This candle is forever lit in memory of my precious son

                   

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In loving memory of Matt Roach  / Sean O'Brien (good friend )
                                      Matt

With the turn of a hat and a blink of an eye,
A child lives no more that refuses to die.
Though he breathes not and speaks only in breath
His actions made it possible for some to get rest.
When in remembrance one can only tell,
Nothing of sorrow and no words of hell.
For the young man you see will only ask with glee,
That you remember him happy and without pity.
For though his life is gone yours is still there,
And inside you he sleeps soundly without a care.
For now his mission rests inside you,
And with him watchng over, his mission will stay true.
For the impact he had on me and the rest,
Will never fade away but stay burned in my chest.
For you see my young friend what you did I will tell,
And this will keep us from evil and send us away from hell.
For with the end of a life there is a birth of a new,
And look for this birth to stir inside you.
For if you find this to be true,
Then let these words be your coach,
For his mission will be a success,
And he is my dear friend
Matthew Joseph Levi Roach

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Mom and Dad  / Rhonda Bartucco (cousin)

                        Mom and Dad

      Don't question why, don't worry how
               I am safe and happy now

       I chose my path, I chose my struggles,
    God chose the time to end these troubles.
         
       I chose you Darcy, to be my Mom
  with your love and strength I couldn't go wrong.
                   
             Dad I know you loved me too
                    you stuck by me
  and helped me with the lessons I went through
                         I love you

                         To my sisters
                      Don't cry for me
                         I'm with God
                     Where I want to be

                      God gave me a gift
                       I earned my wings
          So now it is now time to take my shift

                      God gave me a task
                         know what it is?
        To build new clouds for those who ask


                       I love you Matthew,

                          your cousin,
                             Rhonda

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Happy St. Patricks Sweet Matthew XO  / Jane Einarson~Matthew's Mom (I care/friend )
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a poem straight from someone's heart  / Mom (mama)


Mom, please don’t feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad,
And the tears just seem to flow.
We all come to earth for our lifetime,
And for some it’s not many years
I don’t want you to keep crying
You are shedding so many tears.


                                                     
I haven’t really left you
Even though it may seem so.
I have just gone to my heavenly home,
And I’m closer to you than you know.

                                                       
                                                     
Just believe that when you say my name
I’m standing next to you,
I know you long to see me,
But there’s nothing I can do.
                                                    
                                                       
But I’ll still send you messages
And hope you understand,
That when your time comes to “cross over,”
I’ll be there to take your hand.

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To A Special Matthew xo  / Jane Einarson~Matthew's Mom (I care )
Hello sweet Matthew, you are in my thoughts and heart each day. I wish your special family peace and comfort. Someday we will be with our dear Matthew's again. God bless you precious Matthew xoxo Close

Love To A Very Special Matthew xo  / Jane Einarson~Matthew's Mom (I care )
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Thank you for sharing.  / Cathy Liz Mom (passerby to site )
I just lost my daughter four weeks ago today.  We are also saved and even though she strayed during her teenage years she came back and loved Jesus so much.  It was encouraging to watch her every day pray and believe God for her healing.  But as you said  Satan comes but to steal kill and destroy and he stole my baby girl but I will make sure her daughters serve Him all the days of their life. 
Thank you for your story.
Liz's Mom
elizabeth-armey Close