This website is in memory of Joseph Levi Roach. Our was born on May 12th, 1986 in Oroville California, and went to be with our Lord on March 23rd,  2005.  was working on the back of the trash truck when he fell off, for reasons unknown, and it backed over him, killing him instantly. Our lives have been changed forever and will never ever be the same. We will remember him always. Not for the way he died, but for the way he lived.  Please light a candle for as you visit his page. It is very much appreciated.
 


    


My Mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night 
when all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away . . .
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others . . .
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
tears flowing from her eyes.

My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door . . .
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn't help her . . .
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her . . .
and show her that you care.

For no matter what she says . . .
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal 
 


 SAFELY HOME AT LAST

I am home in Heaven,
 
dear ones;

 Oh so happy  and so bright

There is perfect joy and beauty

 In this  everlasting light.

All the pain 

and grief are over,

Every restless tossing 
  
passed.

 I am now

at Peace forever,

 I am safely home at last.
                                  

WE walked together, you and I.
A mother and her son.
We had hopes and dreams for tomorrow,
But tomorrow didn't come.

We walked together, you and I.
We talked, we laughed, we loved.
We shared so many happy times
And for that, I thank the lord above.

We walked together, You and I,
But only for a short time.
For all too soon it ended
Leaving pieces of broken hearts behind.

And even though I miss you,
More than words can say,
I thank God that I got to walk with you
Every precious moment of every day....





 





Bereaved Parents Wish List


 I wish my child hadn't died. I wish  I had her/him back.       

Y

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child
lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that she was
important to you also. 

 Y

If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you
knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the
cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have
allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. 

 Y

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't
shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.

 Y

I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want
you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you
would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day.

Y

I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my
child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these
things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug. 

 Y

I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years
are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief
will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day
I die. 

 Y

I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand
that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I
will always grieve that she is gone. 

 Y

I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be
happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate
yourself. 

  Y

I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me
grieve. I must hurt before I can heal. 

 Y

I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is
miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please
be as patient with me as I am with you. 

 Y

When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I
don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily. 

  Y

I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very
normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. 

 Y

Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice.
However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you
could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time. 

   Y  

Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes
the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk
away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died,
a big part of me died with her. I am not the same person I was
before my child died and I will never be that person again.        

Y 

I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and
my grief.
But....
I pray daily that you will never understand.

Poem By Compassionate Friends

Homesick

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I  wonder if  I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick then now

In Christ there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again,
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick then now

by Mercy Me




































 

Letter from Heaven ~~~  / To My Family
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.  
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.  
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.  
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you." 
It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.

As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.  
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."  
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.  
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.  
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.  

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.  
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.  
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.  
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.  
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."  
And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.  
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.  

When you're walking down the street and you've got Me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.  
And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to Me.

Matt loved to fish.
He and I had a fishing trip planned for the upcoming summer. Just he and I for the weekend.

 




A Child that loses a parent is an orphan.
A man that loses his wife is a widower.
A woman that loses her husband is a widow.
There is no name for a parent that loses a child.
There is no word to describe the pain

 I am so thankful you got to go meet your aunts, uncles and cousins the summer before. You had such a peace in your heart when you got home.












              

What a wonderful group of people they are.



Son, I just got back from church, and I wanted to let you know that Jesus has lifted my heavy heart!! I still miss you, and I always will, but that horrible, gut wrenching heavy heart is gone!!!! Praise God son!! I know that we will be reunited in Heaven someday, but until that wonderful day, your mama will carry on and be able to smile at your memory. That can only happen through Jesus, but I know you already know that!! I love you my precious Matthew. Thank you Lord for easing my pain.